Earlier this week, I was sitting at my computer with my window open and my face just suddenly felt
full. From that moment on, I was only able to breath comfortably for short periods of time. One side of my nose was always useless. At first I thought, "Okay, I have AIDS. Seriously. I just recovered from a cold. After that cold I started taking immunity support vitamins. And I have been extra careful with little kids' runny noses. The only way to explain how I am sick again is that I do not need vitamins but AZT." But I didn't feel sick. Just stuffy. So, I determined, it was not AIDS. It was allergies.
Cold medicine and nasal decongestants did not relieve my constant stuffiness. They just made me tired. Last night, at Walgreens, there was a Neti Pot next to the saline nose spray. I thought, "Why not? Right now the idea of pouring salt water into my nasal cavity sounds awesome. Flush that shit out. Be done with it." I bought it, took it home, read the instructions, and gave it a whirl.
In short: HOLY FUCKING SHIT. The sensation that using the Neti Pot produces is, well,
wrong. It's not painful or unpleasant, just
unbelievably strange. You can feel the water filling up the cavity and then when it starts to pour out, well, it's just terrible. You've got warm salt water and snot and tears running down your face because the Neti Pot, apparently, triggers involuntary tears. There really isn't any decent way to keep that salt-water-snot combination from running down your face, regardless of what videos and people tell you.
That woman in the pink sweater must have gone through some rigorous Neti Pot training in order to do it that neatly and gracefully. Because using the Neti Pot is the most disgusting, weird, messy thing in the world.
That said, the Neti Pot made my stuffy nose disappear. I blew my nose, got the rest of the salt water out, and could breath freely for the first time in days. So it works. But it's also worth noting that this morning, I sneezed and my nose bled steadily for about 10 minutes. If you can put up with how awful it is to use, it's pretty damn effective. And who knows, maybe I just used more salt than my nose was able to handle.
I've done nothing all day. Okay, well, that's a lie. I finished my paperwork, sorted through boxes in the living room, made ramen, started to clean my room, watched "Twin Peaks" on the Chiller Channel (<3 Fios), played like 6 games of KeyQuest on Neopets. But, still, I haven't done anything notable. YAY SATURDAY.
My birthday is creeping up on me. 26. Goddamn. I don't know if I'm going to do anything to celebrate it, I'd be perfectly happy to let it go by unacknowledged.
Math the Band is playing at some place on Charles St. the Friday before, which should be awesome. According to Patton Oswalt, I am not allowed to celebrate this birthday anyway. I am hoping that my mother wants to give me a present, that present being money, money that will go toward getting tattooed. I was thinking of collarbone rocketships but I'm holding off on that, mainly because it makes me nervous about work, since your collarbones can be kind of hard to hide. I have an idea for a half-sleeve on my other arm. And this one is so open ended that there's no way I'll get stuck for ideas like I did with my Little Prince tattoo (which I'm happy with as is, really). I want an Arm Of Cute. Cupcakes, kittens, rainbows, baby animals maybe, some candy perhaps, possibly a Rainbow Brite or a Care Bear, some happy little clouds, the sun, hearts. It'll be awesome. And I know Beth will be stoked and have tons of ideas, it's right up her alley. I just need moneys.